A Smoke Lover!

Today, someone asked me why I smoke. Is it from addiction, or pure enjoyment? Well the answer is definitely a bit of both and more so the latter. Sure when I used to go for hours without a smoke when I was working, I'd get a headache, but I LOVE to smoke, I really love everything about it. It's like I have a personal relationship with each of my cigarettes and although they are short term relationships, lol... I have many! Every cigarette is nothing like the last.

Their are grades to each cigarette, I'd personally say there are four.

1. The morning cigarette, the one that you just can't wait to get your hands onto, like a new lover, that you just want to slide between your lips, and taste in your mouth as soon as possible.

2. The daily cigarettes, you know the ones that you smoke throughout the day, you love them, but they are like long time lovers, they are often rushed, enjoyed but not savoured the way they should be.

3. The smoking hot sex ones! These ones are like none other, because although you are definitely savouring every inhale, you're also grinding your way to ecstasy and nothing beats that as you climax and blow your smoke into your lovers lungs, nothing is more personal than sharing lung space, knowing that my smokey breath is filling his lungs.

4. Then there's the last cigarette of the day. When you're lying awake in bed, usually lights turned down low, seeing the glow of the cigarette watching it burn with each inhale never wanting to get to the end. You tend to smoke this one a bit slower, a bit deeper with longer inhales and slower exhales.

I really love everything about it.

Licking my lips before I take a drag, the taste on my tongue, feeling the smoke invade my lungs, exhaling and seeing the smoke linger in the air, especially when it's humid, the smoke just seems to hover all around you. There is nothing I find sexier than a woman or man who smokes. People who don't have a smoking fetish just cant appreciate it the way we do.

Speaking Of Ketchup!

The other day I went out with hubby shopping. I went to have a peek at Nordstoms. I found this great dress that I totally loved... so I bought it! I was in jeans and a long sleeve shirt at the time, so when I jumped in the car I got changed cause it had gotten so friggin hot, I was dying!

We went out to eat then afterwards headed over to Wal-Mart, I wanted to pick up a game for my Wii and buy a few more things. So there we are shopping, and I have to tell you I don't know what it is about Wal-Mart but I get wicked headaches there and always, always become a major grouch. So whenever we go there, it's a surgical strike... in and out!

Well hubby decides this time, he wants to wander around looking at the gadgets. Now I'm getting grumpy... I just wanna get outta there! 30 mins go by... we're still wandering around... another 30 mins... now I'm in full bitch mode!

I have no cart just a few things in my arms, and I grab the Ketchup bottle and whack him with it! And what do you know the bottle explodes! Plastic piece of shit! All over my new dress, and we are hours from home, so not like I can just run home and wash the stains out!

Now I'm freaking out hubby is looking at me totally dumb founded, and we both start to crack up... I grab another Ketchup bottle and we run outta that aisle.

So I decide to try to get the stain out in the ladies washroom. So here I am, wetting my dress, soaping it up, rinsing and standing under the hand dryer with my dress lifted up (yes all exposed) trying to dry my dress.

The first time someone comes in I put my dress down, second time too, also the third time. But I'm not happy with all these interruptions so I decide fuck it, next time I don't care, we're all women here, we have the same goods, I'm gonna keep drying my dress and not put it down.

Well what do you know I don't pay attention this time to who walks in, I'm just looking at my dress and I hear "Oh my goodness, Johnny cover your eyes!" Great... just great! A mom brings her 10 year old boy into the women's washroom. So all embarrassed I rush out and leave.

The funniest part of this is that when I went back to Wal-Mart, I saw the Ketchup I usually buy, and on it it said "new and improved, shatterless bottle!" Lemme tell you I totally looked like an idiot standing there starring at the Ketchup, laughing hysterically!

So hubby catches up to me and says "don't forget the Ketchup!" And I say, "speaking of Ketchup, it's new and improved, says shaterless on it... come here and let me test it out!"

Just my shitty luck!

Fuck Fuck Fuck! I just found out today that at the Montreal Heavy Metal Fest, Disturbed will be there along with other great groups such as, Iron Maiden, Symphony X, 3 Inches Of Blood, Overkill, Unexpect, Mastodon, Hatebreed, Type O Negative, Hammerfall, Dethklok, Lauren Harris, Mötley Crüe, Anthrax, Priestess, Shadows Fall, Disturbed, Voivod, Three Days Grace, Drowning Pool, Warrant, Your Favorite Enemies and Death Boat.

I'm usually really good at checking these things... now I'm pissed no way can I afford $150 this last minute to go... sniff sniff. Just my luck, it's been pretty shitty lately! Anyone have a shoulder for me to cry on???

Going post crazy this month!

One of my favorite songs to veg to when I'm pissed is "this moment" by Disturbed! I'm in love with that group! Here's a link! Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqgDnuoGBJc

lol and for those of you that need the lyrics... here they are!

You will remember this moment as you dig into me
And from your smile now it seems as if you liked it
You'd better cherish this moment as you dig into me
You'll never get another chance at this
I won't stand another minute of your questioning me
You hear me, bitch, stop the interrogations over
I can't handle the feeling of your pestering me
How would you like to make my favorite list
No you can't renege I love to see you beg

Chorus:

I Dream this moment as you run away
You will only separate me from all
I believe this moment It will tell the way
You're the one who kept on pushing
Til I made you bleed
It seems your pride has been stolen since you stood up to me
I'll tell you now you know I think I really like it
So learn a lesson from someone who will never repeat the many tragic mistakes of his past
I hope you savor this moment as you're still on your feet
So keep it quiet now I think you're gonna like it
Words have consequences when they're spoken to me
You better be careful when you're writing checks
Don't you question how I stand above you

Chorus

Now you know the answer
Save yourself from danger
I cannot forget how all of this began
I know you know the answers
Save yourself from danger
Beaten by a stranger
Blood still on his hands

Chorus

Some people are just plain ignorant!

Today too many people have pissed me off! I'm not gonna get into it, it's just stupid. All I have to say is that some people have too much time on their hands.

The thing about the internet is that it is so easy for people to hide behind it. I'd like for one of these people to try that attitude on me in "real" life.

Two of my favorite quotes are by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, here they are:

1. “People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.”

2. “Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong.”

I'm a strong minded person... and no one intimidates me. Period. I'm not high on myself, I just know that I'm a well rounded enough person who is able to offer valid opinions in almost any area. When someone feels intimidated it's usually because they feel stupid, and I for one know that I am not stupid.

I've learned over the years that bullies hide behind facades. They are usually the people who have the least amount to offer in this life and are generally very unhappy.

Education is key to winning all battles. So here's a note to person pissing me off: Get educated, so you're worth my time, because I for one refuse to waste my time on the ignorant.

Another One Bites The Dust... sniff sniff.

I was just reading an article( http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25197251/wid/18298287/?GT1=45002 ) all about extinct species.

I never really thought about it before. I mean when I hear about extinct animals, it's sad, but to find out today, that one species has actually been declared extinct, that's so sad.

It's terrible what people do. Just recently close to where I used to live in Canada. Someone had a pet lion, and no one knew about it until it escaped! Imagine, having a pet lion?! What are people thinking, these are wild animals.

I know some people are against zoo's, but I for one am not. I think although it is sad to see wild animals in captivity, it also is a good way for people to go and visit these animals and learn to appreciate them.

My 7 year old daughter recently had a field trip with her school to go visit an art gallery... can you say wtf??? Yeah like 6-7 year olds can appreciate art, maybe the school should have taken the advice of Rafi, remember Rafi? He used to sing "I'm going to the zoo zoo zoo how about you you you, you can come too too too, we're going to the zoo zoo zoo!" Then maybe who knows, some kids would develop an interest in wild animals and who knows maybe become someone like the late Steve Irwin! Lord knows we need more people like him!

And btw I love art don't get me wrong, I just think that field trips should also be age appropriate. Taking children to something that is way above their age level, could turn them off you know what I mean. My daughter wasn't the only one that said "it was so stupid, we just walked around looking at stuff on the walls... it was soooo boring and we did it for hours." Sure some kids might appreciate art SOME probably very very FEW at that age. But how many kids do you know that hate going to the zoo?! NONE... you know how I know??? Because Rafi sang about it lol! So take his advice this summer and go mold your little ones into becoming another great Wildlife Preservationist by taking them to the zoo!

You might want to also check out this link http://www.panda.org.za/ ... who knows... maybe learn something new or take action!

Bets... They SUCK!!!

Ok so I have a friend coming over for a visit. I don't even remember how I got into this but we made a bet, and I lost... don't ask the bet was a long time ago, probably had to do with hockey... I'm not sure. Either way I remember losing and so does he.

The bet was that I would cook a meal for him when he came to visit! Well for those of you who don't know I have a raw meat phobia! Yeah that's right... gotta problem with that lol???

So here is what my phobia entails. I can't touch raw meat, I get all nauseous and have been known to pass out! Even cold cuts I have to use two forks to put them into my sandwiches. I can't even look at uncooked meat and then be expected to eat it afterwards.

I don't know why I'm like this... have no freaking clue. I can eat meat just fine if it's cooked and I didn't see it raw. I've been like this since I can remember. As a kid, I never ate meat other than chicken. And if I saw it all fleshy and raw forget about it!

My first hamburger was at 20! I was at a boyfriends house and that's all his parents cooked so I ate it! It was hard to do trust me, I was trying so hard not to gag! But since then I have grown to love em, but still I won't... rather can't eat red meat in a restaurant. That's right no burgers from Mickey D's for me. When I was a kid, I wouldn't even eat pizza because it has pepperoni on it! I was a weird kid!

Well back to what I was saying, this bet, I have to make something for him to eat! And it has to be a cooked cooked meal. I don't know what I was thinking... was I drunk when I made this bet? I don't even know how to cook! I'm such a poor eater it's not even funny, if it doesn't come pre-made and/or micro friendly, forget it I don't buy it!

He called me yesterday to see what ideas I had for his meal. And he knows me too well, he's like "none of that M&M pre-made stuff Lara I want a home cooked meal!" Great.. there goes my plan. And to boot he said sandwiches don't count lol!

I don't know how I'm gonna get through this! This is a biggie, a testament of true friendship... I hope he appreciates it! BTW does Kraft dinner constitute as a cooked cooked meal??? I mean it does require bowling water!

My 50 Pet Peeves

1- Buying a $300 fucking toy pony called Butterscotch and Hasbro telling me that they do not sell replacement parts for the tail. (I guess there's a new breed of tailess ponies out there)

2- Bastards on Ebay who only leave you feedback after you have left them positive feedback.

3- Paypal... they say they don't have any fees, yet rape you on exchange rates!

4- Comb overs... face you're balding! Deal with it!

5- In-laws & parents, I mean how can I be expected to keep the house as clean as a hospital when I'm doing porn all day, c'mon mom, mom, dad, dad.... be realistic!

6- Guys who tell me they are members of my site, who are not. C'mon I don't care either way just don't lie to me (yes this probably means you!)

7- Jealous people... face it I do it better! Now get off my back and move on!

8- Men who complain about their small dicks! Do I really need to know... do I really care???

9- Stereotypes... just cause I cam doesn't mean I'm stupid!

10- French men and their love for Speedos!

11- Balloon guy... yeah that's right... YOU!

12- People who photoshop to the point that if you cammed with them, they'd be unrecognisable!

13- People who don't photoshop what they shud! No one wants to see that zit on your ass!

14- Fans who try to tell me what to do & what to wear! Thanks for the ideas! Got any cash to go with them? Oh wait a minute did you expect me to spend $100 on an outfit just so you can get off in the free area???

15- Grocery carts with one broken wheel... can there really be that many or is it just me that gets them all the time.

16- Being on speaker phone... I just hate it period... if I called to talk to you then it's YOU only!

17- People who don't say "goodbye" before the hang up the phone.

18- People who expect me to be on time! I have 4 kids it's not always possible. So by now you should know to invite me 30 mins earlier! There problem solved!

19- People who say uh-huh or mm-hmm instead of you're welcome!

20- People who don't flush!

21- The saying "if it's yellow then it's mellow, if it's brown flush it down!" Who's the idiot... flush it Always! Period. No room for mellow! Just freakin Flush!!!!

22- People who put toilet paper on the roll to roll under and not over!

23- People who say "It’s always in the last place you look." Of course it is, you don't keep looking after you've found it!

24- Crumbs in the bed!

25- People who take up 2 parking spaces!

26- Using the words "blah, blah, blah" in a sentence.

27- Using "yada, yada, yada" is even worse!

28- People who pick their nose while driving... I can still see ya buddy!

29- Maple leaf fans! When was the last time they won the cup??? there u go... now shut up!

30- Handicap parking spots... c'mon how fair is that they have wheels, I have to walk!

31- Free smiles at MC Donalds... wtf???

32- Wendy's- when I walk in the line they shout out "one guest"... I don't know about you but my guests don't pay.

33- Hello idiot, it's a bill not a cheque you're asking for at the restaurant... it's not like you can deposit it.

34- One nano second to raise gas prices when oil goes up, and 1 week to lower when gas goes down.

35- I can accept a few typos, but c'mon use spell check!

36- Fans who blame their team losing on the officials (Yeah that means you Philadelphia and Boston).

37- People who think Canadians live in igloos.

38- Microsoft- need I say more?!

39- New and improved products... what do you mean the one you have been selling me for years was shit?!

40- Cheap bastards on cam who beg for freebies.

41- Stupid warnings i.e. on a can of mixed nuts, they have the balls to tell us that it may contain nuts!

42- People who spit when they speak!

43- Bushy eyebrows that look like two caterpillars! Tweezers exist u know!

44- Heavy breathers.

45- Deodorant that leaves white marks... no one likes em, so stop making them!

46- Horizontal stripped clothing... doesn't matter who you are it makes u look fat!

47- My pharmacist, who constantly fills my narcotic prescription for my migraines in non child proofing bottles, even though I tell him all the time I have kids!

48- I hate that you can't have the chicken breast on the "cook's special" it always has to be the dark meat.

49- Mother's who dress their little girls like whores.

50- Non-smokers who preach to me.

Embarrassing Moments!

OMG I recently went out on a family day trip with the in-laws! Which never lacks a good story to tell at the end of the day.

We head up to Upper Canada Village. It's all about the olden days! So here we are, walking around having fun, the kids are feeding the goats and what not. Just a good old time.

When out of the blue my mother-in-law goes up to this person dressed in 1800's type clothing and asks "are you real?" OMG! I'm mortified lol! She thought the person was a statue she said! Well there dear mother-in-law, wtf are you doing talking to statues?! Can you say embarrassing! Never a dull moment when we're out with them!

Kinda reminds me of another time when the kids and I were at the aquarium. There was a pond outside and they wanted to have some change to put in the machine to get some fish food, but I only had bills on me. So this man hears me say "let's wait for daddy, he has change." So this nice man comes over to my kids and hands them some of the fish food he has. Well all of my kids except for the youngest throws it in the water. I turn around to tell my youngest "c'mon... your turn!" When he says with this disgusting look on his face "mommy I don't want to eat that ever again, it tasted soo yucky!"

We're all dying of laughter and I'm trying to brush the food out of his mouth with my hand! I'm telling him "spit it out!" Ahhh... what can you do... 3 year olds are so precious! I just hope with age he gets more common sense than my mother-in-law!

Full Moon Or What?!

Well today I'm pissed off. I was on cam at this other place I cam at and on there it says my rates, one for group, one for pvt and one for cam to cam.

So here I am, having a great time, doing well and you know just having a blast. Until... this one guy comes in. He starts haggleling with me over my prices. I told him those are my prices and if you don't like it there are tons of other girls on here who are cheaper than me. He rebultes with "yes but you're the one I want to play with!" Well then you know what buddy, you're going to have to pay my prices. He logs out!

About 2 mins later, he comes back, starting that crap again! The other guys that were hanging out in my room were getting pissed telling him to pay or get out! So finally I boot his ass and he's gone!

Then about 5 mins after that another different guy comes in. Saying that he's doing casting for a film and wants to view me for free to see if I'll be good for the part! WTF I may be blond, but I'm not stupid! So I tell him I don't get naked for free period. He then proceeds to send me an email. Now with this cam place you receive a pop up email when someone wants to book cam to cam, so I go ahead and open it. What do you know.... it's his "contract" for the "company" he "works" for. I tell him to get lost before I boot him!

Now about 15 mins after that I was about to get off, just waiting to finish my smoke, when this guy comes in and says I want to buy you some stuff to wear (his fetish), so we can cam to cam! Now hold on I know what you're thinking... what a joke, but I did have a guy say that to me before and spend $500 on things for me to wear and then paid to cam with me in them.... so it does happen! So I say what the heck... I log off and jump on with him surfing for stuff he likes.

Now he's trying to tell me it's an exchange... clothes for cam time... yeah whatever buddie I have the archived messages... it specifically says "gift" and "then I can pay for cam to cam to see you in them!"

I don't know is it a full moon tonite? I've had nothing but weirdos to deal with today!

Just Great!

Today I decided fuck it... I'm gonna pig out! Headed to visit some friends up in Montreal and went to eat at a fave restaurant of mine. It's a fast food place, has everything from pizza's to spaghetti to my favorite poutine! In case you don't know what poutine is, it's french fries with gravy and cheese! MMM MMM GOOD! Yes and you guessed it Ketchup on top (for those of you who don't know me I'm addicted to Ketchup)!

Well we grab the half moon booth, sit down and are looking at the menus. I already know what I want just checking out the beer selection. All of a sudden, an old friend of mine walks in, we invite him to sit with us, so obviously I move over!

I put my hand down on the booth to slide my ass over and I feel something. I look at my hand and it's this gross mushed stuff. Whatever probably some kid who dropped a frie. So I wipe my hand off then look at the seat and nothing is there, so I feel under my pants.... ewww just great! I sat in vomit! Yes that's right you did read that correctly VOMIT!!

OMG I'm going to throw up now! My own vomit is gross enough, let alone someone elses! Now I can fucking smell it, and I'm gagging! I run to the bathroom to wash it off, gagging the whole time!

Finally I come out of the bathroom and my friends have changed booths... lol... no we are not leaving... obviously they weren't as grossed out as I was! They are actually laughing it up. Jeez thanks! One of my friends tosses me their keys and says go back to my house and change! NICE! WTF am I the only one who is grossed out by this? I'm I the only one who can't even look at food now?!

I don't know what it is! I swear it's something with me and restaurants and people who vomit. A couple of years ago, I was out with some friends at a bar in Montreal again. We decided at closing time to go grab something to eat. So we sat at this booth across from these drunk guys. You could tell they were just totally wasted.

I tell my friend something is wrong with one of the guys and maybe we should change tables. He tells me I'm paranoid... who knows I was drunk too right?!

Well all of a sudden this guy puts his head on the table, I see his body moving up and down and I'm thinking OMG... here we go! Sure enough the guy spews all over the floor, himself and the table!

The owner walks over kicks his ass out then tells us the food is free. Yeah like I feel like eating now! But I did lol, I was starving!

At least that place gave us a free meal... this place (not that I asked but my friend did while I went to go clean up) told us we should look where we sit! Nice talk about great hygiene! Good to know you really check the tables and chairs when you clean up!

Needless to say... from now on in it's take out only!!!

Wide Awake!

I hate when I can't fall asleep. Seems to be the norm now! Don't you hate that, you're tired, want to sleep and you just lay there hour after hour tossing and turning! I've been going through this for about a year now. Averaging maybe 3 hours sleep a nite, and in a row if I'm lucky! Then the worst part is mid afternoon your exhausted! So you take a nap, which totally fucks up that nite's sleep. So now I've cut out the naps, thinking this will help... but no. It's almost 4am, I'm wipped and have to be up in 3 hours and still I'm here wide awake!

The worst is when I actually fall asleep I have nitemares, so it's restless sleep. This am when hubby tried to wake me up, I nearly knocked him out. He woke me up in a start, in the middle of a nitemare and I swung to punch him!

I spoke to my doctor about this, she gave me sleeping pills, but I don't want to take them. I'm on enough pills for my freaking chronic headaches (probably some due to lack of sleep) and migraines. But after almost a year of this I might just have to resort to taking more pills for this lack of sleep.

I can get through the day, it's not so bad just dose up on coffee, but that I gotta cut off 6 hours before I go to bed or forget it there will be no chance of sleep!

I know I have to get more organized that's part of my problem. I only do pics, vids and customs after 11pm when everyone is asleep, then sometimes I'm up till 2am and by that time catching my second wind.

I need to get away for a weekend and bank updates. Just a total weekend of updates. So I can get ahead. Same with vids, but easier said than done.

I Can Be Bitchy

Today I had to go to the post office for two reasons. One to mail stuff out and secondly to pick something up that (piss me off) still hasn't arrived yet (and no it's not the mustard... you know who you are).

So here I am with hubby and he asks me to fill in the money order we are sending out to book our vacation. No problem.... I fill it out. Well, there must have been a problem, because in front of everyone at the post office he tells me I did it wrong.

For those of you who have been so lucky to see my sweet, smiley, nice side.... well believe it or not I can be bitchy, and probably bitchier than anyone you know, given the chance!

My face must have said it all. Because I could see people looking at me and then looking down at the floor. I began to tell hubby, that "that's why I didn't want to fill it out, and that that's why I told you no, and that the only reason I finally said yes to filling it out is because no one can read your chicken scratch.... so now you can go ahead and fill out the rest."

Really when I read what I said, it's really nothing bitchy. But I guess some people thought it was, especially the post office worker, she said "oh you can tell there's a storm brewing!" (we had tornado warnings where I live).

I know I'm an easy going, happy-go-lucky kinda gal, but I do have a bitchy side. I've actually had to learn how to control it. That and my "speak whatever is on my mind" problem.

I remember a time before my hubby, I was dating this guy. We finally started to fool around one nite on my couch and well you know how it is, I undid his pants and to my surprise there was like nothing there. I just said to him "you know what I think you should go." He was like "what, we were just fooling around I was hoping for sex." I told him "sex.... not with that little thing.... I'm gonna have to fake it all nite and I'm hardly in the mood to do that so why don't you just go home."

Surprisingly he left and like a big boy didn't start calling me names, he just got dressed and left! Once he left I got on the phone to see if my best friend could go out, I wanted to salvage my nite! She asked me how come he wasn't there and I told her what happened. She was mortified she said, "Lara we all love that you speak your mind but sometimes there is a nicer way to do it!"

So needless to say, I have curbed both bad habits. I mean what happened today at the post office was hardly bitchy, but it brought up some old memories and I thought...oh man hubby you're one lucky guy I didn't go off on ya!